Abstract

Aim and methods: A qualitative study of how six Danish sugardaddies justifies sugardating. Furthermore, the thesis investigates why these men sugardates, how they experience the relation to their sugarbabe, whether they separate sugardating and prostitution, as well as if the men consider the potential consequences that their actions have on the sugarbabe.

Conclusion: The thesis found that the sugardaddies primarily seek sex, while authenticity, company and the sensation being in a relationship play a secondary role. The relation feels authentic, even though the sugardaddies are aware of the fact that the sugarbabe would not have met with them, without payment. The relation is based on a matching of expectations, which ensures that both sides get what they want. This can be understood as a transaction that requires both sides to comply with the terms they have agreed to. There are no social bonds attached since no one owes anything to the other when the date is finished. A sugardating relationship is therefore simple, non-binding and sweet, and is used when a desire needs to be fulfilled, whereafter it can be packed away. The sugardaddies’ behavior reflects the reification of the sugarbabes, as if they were a commodity bought by the sugardaddies and therefore to get rid of when the desire is over. The relations are time limited because they expire when the relation becomes too costly or unsatisfactory. The men believe, that sugardating and prostitution is the same, because they buy a sexual act, but argue that sugardating is a more romanticized and innocent form of prostitution. However, the sugardaddies distance themselves from customers of prostitution because this apparently conflicts with their understanding of morally acceptable behavior. The men wish to appear as actors of moral behavior, as they challenge the normative border in society for what can be viewed as morally acceptable. In relation to this, they apply different techniques and contentions to legitimize their behavior. They reject the claim of the sugarbabe to being a victim, as it is her own choice. They renounce the responsibility for potential damage to the sugarbabe, and feel entitled to the sugarbabe, as they have paid for her. The sugardaddies claim that the relation is equal and that they have contributed to the woman’s life in a positive manner.

Keywords: Sugar dating, sugaring, prostitution, sex work, transactional sex, compensated sex, sugar daddies, sugar babes, neutralization, gift exchange, gift economy, reification, top-pocket-relationship, emotional labour